Walking the line

We build our lives on the foundations laid down in our childhood by our parents. As we grow, both physically and mentally, we are bound to build our own ideologies shaped by our encounters with the external world. Our preoccupation with our thoughts and comparison between different ideas is the most decisive factor which shapes our thinking. But what if our notions of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, ‘practical’ and ‘foolish’ clash with what we have been taught as kids.

THE BUILD-UP

Movies are our favorite pastime. Whenever a family outing is planned, a movie is an indispensible part of it. And why not? The phantasmagoric world of the movies does take away the drudgery of everyday life, if only for a short while. So last Sunday, as my father was free from work it was decided that we'll go to watch 'OSO'. The mere mention of a movie infuses enthusiasm and liveliness in an atmosphere otherwise clouded by the omnipresent “Saas-Bahu” sops in the home. It was a welcome break and so it was decided that we’ll got to watch the night show of the movie.

THE BEGINNING

As it came to pass, I had to go to book the tickets in advance for the night show. So, I rode my bike to the cinema hall, and not to my surprise, found that half the population of Kanpur wanted to se the movie that day!!
A long queue awaited me to join it as people literally battled for movie tickets. The bedlam was scary to say the least but since I had promised my movie maniac younger brother that I’ll get the tickets, I had no option but to stand at the end of the long serpentine queue. I knew I was in for a long wait and reluctantly joined the queue. Ten minutes passed and it hardly seemed to move. Ten more minutes and I had hardly shifted. What were they doing at the counter for God’s sake!! Just then a haggard old man came to me. He had weary eyes as if he hadn't slept for days, a long unshaven beard and the only thing that covered his body was a shirt in tatters and a loose pajama.
OLD MAN: Do you want the tickets?
What does he think, I am nuts standing in the queue for no purpose.
ME: Of course I do. Why do you think I am standing in this queue.
OLD MAN: Which show?
ME: The night show.
OLD MAN: Hmm....By the looks of it, you aren’t going to get to the counter. I have the some tickets. How many do you want?
ME: You mean you are "selling them in black".
OLD MAN: How does it matter? You want the tickets, I have them. As simple as that.
A faint smile crossed his face.

He was actually starting to convince me. But before I could but the tickets, my conscience( all that I had been taught from my childhood) took over.
DO NOT DO ANYTHING THAT IS ILLEGAL AND NEVER HELP SOMEONE WHO IS DOING AN ILLEGAL THING.
ME: Don't you know this is illegal. A policeman crosses by and you will spend the next week in jail.
OLD MAN: I know all that. But I have a wife who is really unwell. I need to.....
ME(Interrupting him): OK . That's it. I do not want to hear your story now. Just get off my face. I am not buying any tickets from you.
OLD MAN: Please. I will sell these to you at just hundred for one. That's just twenty more than the normal price. How long will you keep on standing in this line!
Well, his offer did seem to make sense.
WRONG THINGS WILL ALWAYS SEEM TEMPTING. DO NOT YIELD TO THEM.
ME: Look, I am not buying them. There are so many people here. May be some body else will. Now stop bothering me.

The old man finally gave up on me and walked away. I was nearing the ticket counter now. I looked back and saw a long queue behind me. That really cheered me up knowing all those people will have to wait for as long as I did. Yeah, sometimes the devil inside you does take over!!

THE CIGARETTE

It seems like he didn't find any likely takers for his offer. So he was back!!
OLD MAN: See, you are still in standing in the line. Take these tickets. It will help us both.
ME(smiling): Thank you for trying to put me out of my misery but I think I'll stick to my plan. Didn't you find anyone else.
OLD MAN: Most of them are here for tomorrow’s tickets. Look at it this way. You won't get any poorer by buying the tickets from me but I'll be able to feed myself and my wife for at least 3 days.
ME: If you have enough money to buy these tickets so that you can sell them in black, I don’t think you are in such dire-straits.
OLD MAN: This is all I have. I needed to get some medicines for my wife for which I need some extra money. That’s why I am doing this. I don’t even have a home to go to.

Was he telling the truth, or was it all made up. How do you decide? It’s the mother of all questions. Buy the tickets from him, a voice inside me pushed. Was it my conscience or was I being foolish. NO, what the hell am I thinking. These people will say anything to make you yield to them. Stay firm.

ME: Sorry, but for the last time I am telling you. I won’t buy the tickets from you.
Just then the man at the ticket counter announced that only six tickets of the night show were remaining. Six tickets and three people still ahead of me in the queue. OK, enough of morality, its time to listen to reason.

ME: OK. I'll but the tickets from you.
OLD MAN(cheering up): Four tickets, isn't it.
THERE’S NOTHING LIKE A FREE LUNCH. PEOPLE DON’T HELP YOU WITHOUT A REASON SO YOU DO THE SAME.
I probed my pockets and took out four one-rupee coins.
ME: Take these four rupees and get me a cigarette from that pan-shop. Then I'll buy your tickets.
OLD MAN(eagerly taking the coins): Sure. I'll be right back.

Well, as it turned out, the three man standing ahead of me had come to buy the tickets together. Someone called them up on the phone and they cancelled their plans to watch the movie. SO, it left me standing in front of the queue. The man at the ticket counter asked me how many tickets I wanted. I was almost going to answer him when I remembered about the old man. "How many tickets?”, the man asked me.
What should I do. Should I buy the tickets; they'll cost me lesser. Or should I wait for the old man. I told him that I'll buy the tickets from him. "You don't want the tickets then let others buy. Don't just keep standing there", the man barked at me. I looked back but couldn't spot the old man anywhere. May be he just escaped with my money. You know how these people are.
"Four tickets please", I said and bought the tickets from him. Just as I turned there was the old man standing there, out of his breath and with the cigarette.

OLD MAN: Here's your cigarette. How many tickets did you say. Four. Here are the.........
His face went pale as he saw the tickets in my hand. He looked crestfallen.
OLD MAN: You told me you'll but the tickets from me.
ME: I thought may be you...
OLD MAN(Interrupting me, agitated):If you didn’t have to buy the tickets from me , you shouldn’t have bothered me. Its not only my wife who is ill. I am not well either. And I know this is an illegal thing but what else can an old and poor man like me do.
Saying this, he walked away into distance. Was he able to sell the tickets? I don’t know.

THE END

A day later, I was passing through that road again when I saw a crowd gathered at a place.
Seeing the commotion, I stopped to see what was going on.
As it turned out, a man had died on the street. People said he died of the cold in the night. As I looked closer, a chill went through my spine. It was the same old man who had tried to sell me the movie tickets that night.
But the question was, what killed him? Was it the night cold or was it...me. May be, if I had bought the tickets from him, he would have had enough money to feed himself and his wife. May be, he would have survived had I bought the tickets from him. But wait, why was I holding myself responsible. I did as I was taught. I didn't do a wrong thing. I did a practical thing. Anybody else would have done the same. I followed what was taught to me. Or may be, the rules were laid right but I didn’t interpret them correctly. When I was at the ticket counter ready to but the tickets, when the man at the ticket counter had pushed me to buy the tickets, may be that was the TEMPTATION I SHOULD NOT HAVE YIELDED TO. Was I helping him by buying his tickets or was he helping me. Knowing the morally and practically right things isn’t enough. What matters is your ability to judge everyday situations and apply what you think is right. This was the difference between knowing the right path and walking the right path. Following the righteous path is as confusing as it is tough. Its a thin line to walk.
“Does anybody know him? Where did he live?”, a man in the crowd asked.
“I know him. He didn’t have a home”, I said silently.