Monday, September 7, 2009

The design of justice


By R. Lakshminarayan


Dedicated to Contra (Nisheet Pandey) who can kill the best character in a story with panache.


Synopsis

Every lawsuit is a game. A game of reason where the wheel of justice turns around to quash all evil, while stringently upholding the truth. Some cases are tried at the discretion of a jury. Some lawyers build cases on moral grounds eloquently playing the “race card”. Some lawyers free criminals on the basis of reasonable doubt or insufficient evidence. However, in all cases we believe that justice has been served. In the whole process, we all seem to forget the greater design. The design of Justice. It works on everyone. It waits for the right time. It may not be served immediately but it upholds itself on Judgment day. Still, at the end of the day we still wonder: Is this Just?

Prologue

John William Sweeney opened his suitcase and looked into it with tired eyes. He was fighting this case for his brother, who was charged for murder in the first degree. Nervously, he placed the suitcase on the table and sat down on the chair to meditate. This was a part of his therapy. He moved his head sideways and twitched his neck after a while. The Courtroom was going to be in session in an hour but he liked to get accustomed to his surroundings better. This was his third case and probably his toughest. His brother, Marcus William Sweeney, was the top lawyer of the firm Sweeney, Lewiston and North. Being the named partner of a law firm is not an indicator of hard work and dedication. It requires skills which only a prodigy like Mark could possess.

Marcus William Sweeney was no doubt a legend in his field. He could make the jury shed tears for a rapist with his closing statement, embroiling the accused in a veil of innocence

Mark was not only popular in the District of Massachusetts, but his exploits made him an international figure thanks to the famous Nazi war criminal trial for crimes against humanity of Herman Goering vs. the Republic of Israel in 1967. Astonishingly, Goering was found “not guilty” by the international jury of the World War II tribunal which resulted in public outcry as well as critical acclaim for Mark(Goering was later hunted down and killed by Israeli intelligence: Mossad).

Today, Mark was implicated in the murder of an abusive husband, who had died due to head injuries sustained from a blunt object. What was even more intriguing about this case was that Mark had never been charged with any crime throughout his illustrious career as a lawyer. There were three eyewitnesses to the crime scene. The wife of the deceased was the only direct and strong witness to the crime. The Boston Police Department was not even sure about Mark’s involvement in the crime. In fact, Mark had come forward and surrendered to the police voluntarily. He was neither related to the deceased nor his wife and to assume that he committed the crime with a motive was clearly baseless. The police were seemingly baffled and yet content with the fact that they didn’t have to go on a mad hunt to nail the killer. It was an open and shut case for them but the chief of police confessed to the media that he had never before witnessed an absurd and confusing case as this one.

Chapter I: Mark William Sweeney vs. the State of Massachusetts

John’s mind was speeding into darkness. His largely unsuccessful stint as a lawyer was again under the scanner. It was surprising that the brother of the top lawyer in the United States was the worst at getting clients. Not many knew that his brother Mark had never considered him worthy of anything. When John applied for the position of a legal associate at Sweeney, Lewiston and North, his resume was flung at his face by his own dear brother. Mark had also told him that he could probably defend a rotten pig for inhabiting a junkyard. And yet, here he was, in the district court defending his prolific brother for a murder charge, a charge which could send Mark to the chair of death. John could never understand why his brother Mark had asked him to fight the case. Was Mark playing a trick on him? Even as a child Mark made him feel impotent and weak.

They were brothers of destiny. Looking at them, one would think they are twins. They shared the same birthday but Mark was elder to John by 2 years. Also, Mark was about an inch taller than his younger brother. But people never noticed such subtle differences when they were seen in isolation. The real question in everybody’s mind was “why did Mark Sweeney, the best lawyer in town, choose his distraught and unskilled brother for defending him in a murder trial?” Was this the family reunion of the decade? Did they forget their social differences for the sake of brotherhood?

Chapter 2: The Case

All Rise. Honorable Judge William Madison will preside over the proceedings. Case number 1021: Mr. Mark William Sweeney vs. the State of Massachusetts on the murder in the first degree of Mr. Jason Rodham Rush.

Judge: Am I to understand that the defendant will be represented by Mr. Jonathan William Sweeney?

John: Yes your honor.

Mark (callously): Ditto, Your honor.

Judge: Mr. Mark Sweeney, Let me make this clear to you. You shall not use such words in my court and you shall not resort to any antics or I shall hold you in contempt. Is that clear?

Mark: (smiling deviously) Sure your honor. Since my brother is fighting this case, I just think that he may be far too dumb to even make such comments.

The Judge glared at the defendant with his bloodshot eyes as John still stood with his eyes fixated on his brother. Mark never had any real respect for John but he never expected such harsh words in front of the whole court room infested with media.

Judge: I would also remind the media that they are not to make any noise which could lead to their eviction from the courtroom. I shall now hear from the District attorney.

District Attorney Alan Harper was a seasoned lawyer in his forties. He had lost all his cases against Mark Sweeney and in the course of time, had developed an acute dislike for him and his manipulative tactics. He wouldn’t leave this chance to nail his nemesis. In fact, even before the case was put up, Harper launched himself into the police chief’s office for the case details. This was his redemption, his judgment day.

DA Alan Harper: May I please the court, the defendant is accused of murder in the first degree…

Mark: Your honor, I request you to waive off the reading. The defendant wants to plead not guilty.

Judge: Mr. Mark Sweeney, let your lawyer do the talking. Am I to understand that you feel inadequately represented?

Mark: Your honor, my brother is a moron. He should be sitting in an elementary school right now but I interjected on my behalf as I think Mr. John Sweeney doesn’t even have the balls to stand up without wetting his pants.

Judge (angrily): Sit down Mr. Sweeney. I am warning you.

Mark (smiling): Why are you getting angry? I haven’t even started talking about your sexually deviant wife yet.

Judge (furiously strikes his gavel on the table): Mr. Sweeney, enough! One more word from your mouth and I will hold you in contempt.

Mark (still smiling): Thank You, your Honor for your kind words.

Judge: The Jury shall hear the case at 2 PM in this court. Till then, we are adjourned.

Chapter 3: Lies

As Mark and John made their way out of the courtroom cutting through the media’s glare and questions, John seemed to be in a state of humiliation. They sat in a car and Mark gave a big annoying grin to his brother.

Mark: Johnny, What the hell were you doing in the court? When will you get your ass off the chair?

John: Why did you paint me as an idiot in front of the cameras?

Mark (sarcastically): Oh. Now you are the big personality. Wait a Minute. We are fighting a murder trial here. We are not advertising for ladies lingerie out there.

John (angrily): What gives you the right to make me look like a fool?

Mark: Well, let us rewind here. Why did you have to bang the victim’s wife in the first place? You piece of shit, I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t swinging your bell in married homes.

Flashback (three months before the murder)

(John and Joanna in bed)

John (panting): When is your husband coming home?

Joanna (smoking): He is out washing hotel bathrooms with his dirty hands. I won’t let that dirty pig touch me ever. (Tears welling up on her calm and pale face) He should die. He should die for all eternity.

John: Shh. Shhh… Don’t cry. Don’t cry. I can’t see this beautiful face spoiled by tears. How can this piece of shit treat you like this?

Joanna: He treats me like a whore. He comes in drunk and swings his priced bat at me. He should die. (Bursting into tears of repression)

John: File for divorce. I will fight your case. Let me do it.

Joanna: Divorce. After two years of painful beating is that what I deserve? And then what? He doesn’t have a penny in his social security savings. I will still be a whore in the eyes of the world. (Suddenly her face lights up) I know how to do it. I know how to finish this off. Then we can go to Venezuela. My aunt stays there. Only you can do it. Only if you love me enough.

John: I will do anything for you. That bastard can never touch you again.

Chapter 4: May I please the court

1:55 PM (Present day)

John stood watching the fountain outside the courthouse. This was getting difficult for him. Mark was having lunch at Pencant’e de royale with his associates discussing new clients and making executive decisions. Why did Mark take up the blame? What is he achieving here?

2:00 PM

John: May I please the court. I have already submitted the witness list, your honor. On behalf of my client, I would like to plead not guilty to the charges leveled against him, on the grounds of insufficient evidence.

Mark: Objection, your honor.

Judge (whimsical): What?? You cannot object to your own plea.

Mark: Your honor. Request consultation with my lawyer.

Judge: Granted. Please resolve this issue Mr. Sweeney. The court will not tolerate your stupid antics in future.

(Mark walks up to John and grabs him by the arm.)

Mark: (whispering angrily) what the hell are you doing? Insufficient evidence? I surrendered for god’s sake. Get your act together, will you?

John: (nonchalantly) what? I just thought of raising reasonable doubt in front of the jury.

Mark: We are not playing that trick. I want this my way. You play along or I tell the court how stupid you are.

John: (grudgingly) Ok.

Mark: Your honor. Request for recess.

Judge: Mr. Sweeney. We just had lunch. Why the hell do you want recess now?

DA Alan Harper: Your honor. The defense is playing mute.

Judge: I am not blind Mr. Harper. You don’t need to point out every lunatic step in this case. I shall grant you 10 minutes recess Mr. Sweeney, but I warn you, you are punishing my patience here.

Chapter 5: The right defense

Mark: You stupid screw-up. What the hell do you think we are running here? A chicken factory? I have confessed to the crime, and yet, you want to prove insufficient evidence. Don’t you just get it? Is this what they taught you at your stupid third grade law school?

John: (trembling) I just thought I could play the reasonable doubt card. The jury will love it. We are practically identical twins. I can show them that I could have been the murderer. In law school they always say you don’t need to catch the real criminal. You just have to prove that your client didn’t commit the crime.

Mark: Yeah. Only if I hadn’t gone and confessed, you lousy junkie. (Yelling) WHAT THE HELL DO YOU… (Calms down) You know we are not identical. We are just reflections. The only difference is that your pea sized brain is not even good enough to distinguish between a spoon and a fork. You are a disgrace. Our parents should have drowned you in our backyard pool. Heck, I should have done it. What a fool. Shit. From now on, I am writing your lines. Follow my instructions and words and don’t you dare deviate from them. I have prepared a list of lines which you will use in court. Do you get that, you half bred mongrel? (Yelling) Did you get that?

Flashback (19 years back)

(John and Mark are playing in their room.)

Mark: Hey Johnny. Come on, give me your finger.

(John gives his finger reluctantly)

(SNAP! Mark breaks little John’s finger with anger)

Mark: Never touch my stuff again. You get it? Play with your own shitty toys.

(John starts wailing in pain. He cries for help. He calls his mom incessantly. Suddenly, Mark picks up a razor blade from his pocket and looks at John with a deviant smile and then runs the razor through his own palm thrice. Blood starts dripping from Mark’s hands. John looks in horror and stops crying. Why did Mark hurt himself? As their mother comes running towards them, Mark suddenly hugs John.)

Mark: Mommy. He didn’t do it on purpose, don’t hurt Johnny. He didn’t do it on purpose.

Mother: What did you do Johnny? What happened?

(Mark shows his blood drenched palm with a blunt face. Mom also notices a blood stained razor on the ground)

Mark: Don’t hit him mother. He didn’t do it on purpose.

Mother rushes ahead and slaps John who is unable to understand the turn of events. She then picks up Mark to dress his wounds. While leaving the room with his mother, Mark turns towards John wearing a sly smile on his face. John sits alone with a broken finger and a red face, still unable to conceive what had actually happened.

Chapter 6: Witness

DA Alan Harper: The prosecution calls its first witness, Mr. Engleworth, neighbor of the deceased Mr. Jason Rodham Rush.

Reader: Sir, Please take the stand. Do you solemnly swear in the name of god that thou shall speak the truth no matter what?

Engleworth: I do.

DA Alan Harper: Mr. Engleworth, Will you tell the court how the events transpired on the night of 2nd December 1990. Please do not miss out any details.

Engleworth: I heard some shrieks at around 10:15 PM. I was taking my nap and I was startled by the noise. I have heard these shrieks before at around the same time. But this time the cry was more painful. It sounded big, you know.

DA Alan Harper: Were these shouts of help coming from the victim Mr. Jason Rush’s house.

Engleworth: Yes. I’m sure about that.

DA Alan Harper: (looking at the jury) Please continue.

Engleworth: I crept to my window and tried to peek into my neighbor’s house. The lights were turned off and I couldn’t see anything. But I heard several thud like sounds, like somebody was being beaten or like someone was being thrashed.

DA Alan Harper: Did you raise an alarm or go to their house to inspect.

Engleworth: No. How could I? I am an old man. I have several prostrate problems. (Turns to face the jury) You see I am on these life saving drugs and I am afraid that I may fall down if I move too much. I just don’t want to strain myself. If I were younger I would have gone to inspect the house myself. Being a world war veteran, I like to have things under my control.

Judge: Mr. Engleworth, don’t recite your stories. Keep your answers specific to the questions.

DA Alan Harper: What else can you tell us Mr. Engleworth?

Engleworth: Well, I waited for long by my window. Then after an hour or so a figure appeared. It was a man. Just like the defendant. Then he sat in his car and drove away.

DA Alan Harper: Did you see the car Mr. Engleworth.

Engleworth: I didn’t have my glasses on so I could not see the number on his plates, but it looked like a Mustang.

DA Alan Harper: Thank You Mr. Engleworth. Defense’s witness.

(John rose from his seat and looked at Mark, who was quietly resting on his chair with a look of amusement on his face.)

John: Mr. Engleworth, The shrieks you heard. Were they the shrieks of a woman in distress?

Engleworth: Yes, as I said I have heard them before but…

John (interrupting): Mr. Engleworth, You said you stood for half an hour by the window. Why didn’t you come out of your house instead?

Engleworth: Like I said I was never sure if I would be able to walk across my …

John (interrupting): Mr. Engleworth, do you realize that if you lie in this court you may be committing perjury. Did the prosecution tell you to render these details or are you making them up yourself.

Engleworth: Well, well, you are a young scoundrel. I am a war veteran Mr. Legal pants, treat me with some respect you imbecile.

John: Mr. Engleworth, How old are you?

Engleworth: I am 85.

John: And you wear glasses, don’t you?

Engleworth: Yes I do.

John: How can you be sure that the person who came out of the house was the defendant and not someone else?

Engleworth: Of course it was him. My garage lights are always on. I could see his…

John: Can you tell whether it was the defendant or me? Can you say for sure Mr. Engleworth?

Mark: Objection your honor?

Judge: You cannot object to your own defense Mr. Mark Sweeney.

John: Can you say for sure that it wasn’t me who exit the house that night.

Engleworth: Well you both look like twins but I am sure it was the other fellow.

DA Alan Harper: Objection your honor. The defense is playing tricks.

Mark: For once I concur with Mr. Harper, your honor. May I speak to my lawyer this instant?

Judge: OK. This is getting ridiculous now. I will adjourn the proceedings. We will start the proceedings tomorrow at 11 AM sharp. And Mr. Mark Sweeney, please consult your lawyer “before” you defend yourself in court. The court is adjourned.

Chapter 7: In the car

Mark: What the hell were you playing there Johnny? I told you not to choose that line of defense. There is no reasonable doubt that I committed the crime. I confessed remember.

John: Confessions are not admissible to the court under section 34...

Mark: Shut up. SHUT UP you piece of shit. Do you want me to go ahead and tell the police that you killed Mr. Rush? Then you would be against me. And I will bring out all your dirty secrets. Do you want me to tell the court, how you used to fuck Mr. Jason Rush’s wife? You want me to tell them, don’t you?

John: Then you would have lied to the court. You would have committed perjury.

Mark: I haven’t even taken the stand yet, you moron, which means I am immune to perjury. The DA will have to reverse the case on you. Plus I will act as their witness if you don’t shut up and listen to me. As I told you, I will choose the path. I will plead the “right to protect an innocent”.

John: Why? So that the press portrays you as a hero?

Mark: No, you rotten sewer hole. I am doing this to save your pathetic ass. Do you understand me Johnny boy?

John: (silent)

Mark: Yes, just as I thought. You never had the balls to pull this off Johnny and you never will have. That is why they call me the justice man of America. I am taking over the case now Johnny. You can watch and learn from the expert. The jury will cry for me. Wait till you see me in action

Flashback (the night of the murder 10:14 PM)

Joanna: He shall come in any moment. I shall cry for help when you start hitting him. This way people will think he is hitting me.

John: Does he really hit you everyday?

Joanna: What do you mean? Where do you think I got these scars from? Shh… shh he is coming.

Mr. Jason Rush enters his house using his key and suddenly the power goes out. John swings the baseball bat on Rush’s head using all the force he can gather. Mr. Rush falls to the floor. He moans and tries to get up. By this time Joanna has started crying for help. John swings again in a fit of impulse. He then keeps swinging till blood sprays from Mr. Rush’s head. Joanna is still crying and John keeps hitting the head till some fragments of brain and skull fly across the room. Then he stops. Joanna stops crying. There is silence. John is suddenly overtaken by remorse and fear. He has never killed a person before. He trembles and drops the bat on the floor.

Joanna: There, you did it. You freed me darling. I don’t have to live in a prison anymore. (Sees John’s pale face) What is it Johnny? You saved me. We can now run away to Venezuela. I have his life insurance cover. No one can stop us now. Why are you worried? I have his will he left the house to me. I have already sold it to some tenants. Look at me Johnny.

John: I have never killed anyone.

Joanna: You did it for my protection. You saved an innocent.

John: But we planned this. We planned the whole murder.

Joanna: I love you Johnny. Do you love me? You didn’t commit a crime. You saved us both. We can live in peace. We are one now.

John: No. No. I killed him. (Starts weeping) I killed a man. Oh god! I killed a man.

After half an hour of self incrimination John starts running towards the door.

John: (with swollen eyes and anxiety) I have to run. Oh my God, I have to run.

Joanna: Johnny, wait. Wait Johnny. I love you Johnny.

John rushes outside to his car and speeds away while Mr. Engleworth watches in amazement and confusion from his window.

Chapter 8: Motive

Mark: Your honor. There is a slight change in the proceedings. I will defend myself. My lawyer will second chair.

Judge: Does the prosecution have an objection? If you have, you may speak now.

DA Alan Harper: None your honor. I am a fan of Mr. Mark Sweeney’s antics. There is nothing better than watching a clown show his tricks.

Judge: You may continue, Mr. Sweeney.

Mark: Thank You, Your Honor.

DA Alan Harper: Prosecution calls Sergeant James Thomas Billow of the Boston Police Department.

(Sgt. Billow takes the stand and the oath)

DA Alan Harper: Sir, What was your hypothesis on inspecting the crime scene?

Sgt. Billow: Well Sir, The fact is that we never knew about the murder before Mr. Sweeney showed up in the morning at the police station.

DA Alan Harper: Well then, what did Mr. Sweeney tell you?

Sgt. Billow: He said he had been driving through that street on the night of 2nd December 1990. Then he heard some shrieking sounds in the neighborhood and he stepped out of his vehicle in order to inspect the chaos. Then he heard some crying noises again. He identified the house and rushed into it. The door was unlocked which was later confirmed through the wife of the victim. He then picked up a 1986 wood class baseball bat and struck the victim Mr. Rush, on the head, thrice. He also claimed that the victim did not fall unconscious and was also attacking Mr. Sweeney, which compelled him to swing the bat again. This time however, the blow was fatal.

DA Alan Harper: Did Mr. Sweeney tell you precisely what compelled him to commit the crime?

Sgt. Billow: Yes Sir, he did. He said he was protecting an individual from domestic battery. In fact, he pointed out several sections in the law and the bible which justified the use of force to protect innocent people. He also claimed to have no contact with the victim or his wife, prior to this encounter, which made his cause of action legally unprecedented. He claimed that he was doing it to protect the woman, but also intended to render Mr., Rush unconscious so that he could be apprehended by the appropriate authorities. He confessed to the crime quite voluntarily which made it easier for us to investigate the crime scene. The wife of the victim was in shock and could confirm only some parts of the story.

DA Alan Harper: Sergeant Billow, Did you ever ask Mr. Sweeney, why he didn’t call the Police department immediately after the crime.

Sgt. Billow: He claimed that the phone line in the house was dead as was the nearest telephone booth. We confirmed this too.

DA Alan Harper: Sgt. Billow, I am now compelled to ask you, did you ever wonder why Mr. Sweeney didn’t rush to the police station on the night of the murder. In fact, records show that he waited till dawn to construct and justify a decent story. Isn’t that true Sergeant?

Mark: Objection, Speculative.

Judge: Sustained.

DA Alan Harper: Sergeant, did you ask Mr. Sweeney as to why he appeared at the police station only in the morning?

Sgt. Billow: We did Sir. But he said it was a cold chilly night and he was feeling tired. He felt that he could go home and sleep. Since we had his confession anyway, this delay really did not matter to us.

DA Alan Harper: Let me ask you this Sergeant. Do you believe in God?

Sgt. Billow: Yes Sir, I do.

DA Alan Harper: Do you believe this fairytale story Mr. Sweeney told you?

Sgt. Billow: Well Sir, I have to say that we bought Mr. Sweeney’s story completely when we saw the crime scene. But the only thing that came to my mind was fingerprints. I had a doubt at one point when I saw that the bat had no finger prints. I just felt it could be a well planned murder if the assailant was so particular that he left no finger prints. That is precisely why we charged him with murder in the first degree.

DA Alan Harper: You think Mr. Sweeney planned this? (Facing the jury) You mean he didn’t do it to save an innocent soul?

Sgt. Billow: That is what we felt after our investigation.

DA Alan Harper: Thank you Sgt. Billow. Defense’s witness

Mark: Sgt. Billow wasn’t it embarrassing for the Boston police department that they never came to know about the murder in the first place. They only came to know about it after I confessed. Doesn’t that make you feel incompetent, Sgt. Billow?

DA Alan Harper: Objection Your honor, irrelevant.

Judge: Sustained. Sergeant, you need not answer that question.

Mark: Sgt. Billow. How cold was the night of 2nd December? Just give me a rough idea.

Sgt. Billow: Well it was cold sir. Quite chilly I suppose. We had snow cover in most parts of the city.

Mark: Well in that case, Sgt. Do you wear a coat or a blazer when you feel cold?

DA Alan Harper: Objection your honor. What is the defense trying to achieve here?

Mark: That will be clear very soon your honor.

Sgt. Billow: Well yeah. I do wear a jacket to keep myself warm. In fact we wear boots, woolen trousers, thick caps and gloves to keep …

Mark: In that case, Sergeant. Is it very hard to believe that I might be driving my car wearing a pair of woolen gloves?

Sgt. Billow: Not at all Sir.

Mark: In fact, is it not possible that due to the escalating chain of events, I might have still adorned the gloves while holding the bat?

Sgt. Billow: It is possible sir.

Mark: (looking at the jury) I never thought the DA could stoop to such levels in order to make me look like a paid assassin. Mr. Harper here would have wanted my fingerprints on the bat. It is a crime to even wear gloves now. Please vote for our next presidential candidate Mr. Alan Harper.

(Laughter in the courtroom)

Judge: Order, order. Is that all Mr. Sweeney?

Mark: yes your honor.

DA Alan Harper: The prosecution has no more witnesses your honor.

Chapter 9: Joanna

Mark: The defense calls Mrs. Joanna Rush to the stand.

(Joanna steps to the stand and takes her oath)

Mark: Mrs. Rush, Did your husband abuse you repeatedly?

Joanna: Yes. He used to beat me with his bat after coming home drunk.

Mark: As Mr. Engleworth pointed out, do you cry for help when this happens.

Joanna: (tears) Yes I do. But nobody comes for help.

Mark: Mrs. Rush, on the night of the murder, was your husband beating you?

Joanna: Yes

Mark: Then what happened and I request you to address the court.

Joanna: (pointing to Mark) this man came to my rescue that night. Our door was open and he barged in to calm things down. Then my husband swung his bat at him. In an act of self defense Mr. Mark Sweeney here grabbed the bat and pulled it away from my husband’s control. Then he swung it once at my husband’s head to knock him out. (Now almost sobbing) But my husband did not stop. He lunged at this helpful man and tried to attack him with his fist. (Pause) (Wipes her tears)

Mark: Then what happened?

Joanna: Then Mr. Mark swung his bat again and my husband dropped dead.

Mark: What did you feel after that?

Joanna: I felt free. Mr. Sweeney had liberated me. (To the jury) I had an abusive husband and I was too afraid to complain to the police. He threatened to kill me one night because he felt I was not faithful to him.

Mark: Do you hold any grudge against me Mrs. Joanna?

DA Alan Harper: Objection. Manipulative, your honor.

Judge: Overruled. Answer the question Mrs. Joanna.

Joanna: No. On the contrary I was happy that Mr. Mark came to my rescue. (Facing the jury) I just hope there are people out there who can hear our cries. There are millions of us suffering…

Judge: Mrs. Rush, I understand your emotions but please keep your answers short.

Joanna: Yes, your honor.

Mark: Then what happened?

Joanna: Mr. Mark asked me if I was alright. Then he tried to call 911. But my phone was out of order. Then Mr. Sweeney asked me if there were any phone booths around. I then recalled that there was one at the corner of the 90th street. As he was leaving the house, I remembered that the phone booth was out of order. Mr. Sweeney then comforted me and told me that everything will be fine. He then left the house.

Mark: Have you ever seen me before, Mrs. Rush? And do address the court.

Joanna: No. Mr. Mark Sweeney came out of nowhere to save me.

Mark: Thank You, Mrs. Rush. Defense rests your honor.

Judge: Would the prosecution like to cross-examine the witness?

DA Alan Harper (nods his head and gets up): Quite a story, I must say Mrs. Rush. First, I would like to extend my congratulations to you for the receipt of your husband’s insurance claim. His death has made you a millionaire I guess.

Mark: Objection. Irrelevant and despicable.

Judge: Sustained.

DA Alan Harper: You say that your husband abused you physically. Why didn’t you register a complaint with the police?

Joanna: I tried. The police refused to file my report.

DA Alan Harper: Oh now you are making stories Mrs. Rush. I suppose you never went to the police.

Mark: Objection. Speculative.

Judge: Sustained.

DA Alan Harper: (with anger) how much did Mr. Sweeney pay you to tell this story Mrs. Rush?

Mark: Objection your honor.

DA Alan Harper (not listening to anything): You come up with a nonsensical false story and you try to defend Mr. Sweeney as your hero. How much did he pay you Mrs. Rush?

(The court is in mayhem. People start whispering simultaneously. There are hushed voices all over)

Mark: Objection your honor.

DA Alan Harper: Don’t you show your sorry face to me Mrs. Rush. The court knows you are lying. Tell me the truth. How much did he pay you?

(More hushed whispers)

Judge: Order, Order. Silence or I will throw all you journalists out.

Joanna: (with determination) Mr. Harper, you never got a beating from my husband. Do tell me when your spouse thrashes you. Then we will talk about the money Mr. Sweeney paid to save your ass.

(The court falls silent)

DA Alan Harper: The prosecution rests your honor.

Judge: Ok. I will have a recess. We shall proceed with your closings after the recess. The court is adjourned.

Chapter 10: Reason

All this time John never understood a word of what was going on. He gaped at the whole thing like a monkey in a bathing suit.

Mark: Well, Johnny that was swell, wasn’t it? Why are you looking at me like a chimp? Ha-ha.

John: How did you build up all this? How did you create this stuff? I never called the police.

Mark: Ha-ha. That my friend is great lawyering. Don’t you get it? That is why I am rich and you are poor. You need to plug the holes Johnny. But I must say the woman you are sleeping with has her brains in the right place. A meeting with her before today’s trial was amazing. You are too dumb to be even seeing her. Without her heart rendering testimony none of this would have happened. The DA must be banging his head on the desk by now. Hah! That sucker.

Flashback (meeting before the trial at Joanna’s residence)

Mark: May I come in Mrs. Rush. I am Marcus Sweeney, the supposed murderer of your husband.

Joanna: Yes. Please do. Sir, I am confused as to why you are standing for the trial? Why are you taking the blame for the murder?

Mark: Well let’s just say that I love Johnny. (Winking) Don’t you? But more than that, Johnny never had the balls to stand up for himself.

Joanna: I am sure you are in my house regarding the case?

Mark: Well yes. But I cannot help but admiring your body Mrs. Rush. It just makes my blood flow in several places

Joanna: (crossing her arms) May we please discuss the trial?

Mark: Sure. First, I heard you got your husband’s insurance claim. Was a hell of a lot of money? What are you going to do with it?

Joanna: I am planning to go to Venezuela to stay with my aunt.

Mark: Is that so? Okay. So Mrs. Rush, I am sure you must have heard about me in the papers. I am a very tough lawyer. I only look at important details. Like, was your phone out of order that night?

Joanna: No. I had severed my phone connection about 2 weeks before the murder.

Mark: Well then the case is open and shut. For your information, the nearest phone booth to your place in 90th street has been out of order for weeks too. Do you understand what I am trying to imply here?

Joanna: Yes. You are placing yourself in the crime scene and breaking all exit points for the prosecution.

Mark: So intelligent, and yet you sleep with my brother. Come to my place I will show you how the rich live and reproduce.

Joanna: Just tell me what I have to do in the witness stand. I just don’t want Johnny to go to prison.

Chapter 11: Closing statements

DA Alan Harper: Members of the jury. What we witnessed today was not only a trial for prosecuting a murder suspect but also a trial where killing a man was justified as an act of God. It has desensitized the issue of homicide. What kind of a world are we living in? A person who breaks into some home to kill a man and justifies it as an act of goodwill is not only committing a crime against humanity he is also bending the law at his whim. All you 12 people sitting here to pass a judgment on Mr. Mark William Sweeney very well know that this murder was not out of pity, but out of rage. Well the next time I kill someone I will just say that he or she was trying to kill me. Then I will walk across the street to buy an eyewitness. Does the defense think that we are foolish enough to buy his ill constructed story? Well, I am not convinced. Even if the 12 of you are, think about the way this crime was committed. It was cold blooded. The weapon was struck on the victim’s head at least 10 times. What is even more compelling is that Mr. Sweeney claims that he wore gloves to protect himself from the winter. Oh, come on now Mr. Sweeney that is not even close to an excuse. Mr. Sweeney took matters into his own hands. He planned the murder and made a deal with Mrs. Rush. He will refuse it. I mean, won’t we all refuse that we took a small down-payment to finish a convenient job. Murder for money. The wife plans redemption. She gets a top lawyer to iron out the legal wrinkles and goes home with a million dollars. Mr. Sweeney is a cold blooded murderer. We all know what the law dictates under such circumstances. Today, I ask the 12 of you to punish an act which has so blatantly been portrayed as noble. I ask you today to respect that law you uphold and punish this man.

Mark: My brother was 10 years old when he got into a fight. He was fighting a 15 year old large bully and was obviously losing heavily. Both of us were extremely small compared to the bully but in my heart I felt that the two of us could take him. I entered the fight and together we drove the bully away. Members of the jury, that day taught me a lesson. Stand up to injustice. I was moving through the 89th street that night to reach home early. People like Mr. Harper here, may feel that I wasn’t supposed to be there. But fate made me take that road that night. When I heard the cries of a helpless woman I knew that helping her was the right thing to do. In fact, even the police never did the right thing. They have never even considered coming to Mrs. Rush house to see the extent of abuse her husband was inflicting on her. Well, I was there to help her and so I did. A man died. Yes, a man died. But did he die because of my rage? No. As you all heard Mrs. Rush vouches that I did so to protect myself. If I could have knocked the man unconscious wouldn’t I have done that? I had no prior grudge against Mr. Rush and I am not gaining anything from his death, am I? Don’t you think it’s bizarre that I surrendered myself to the police? A planned murder? I did that because I wanted them to know that I did the right thing. Isn’t it bizarre that Mr. Harper comes up with an excellent urban legend to shame an abused, domestic lady? I say he should be a screenwriter. What a plot, what suspense.

I just wanted to help this innocent lady. How dare the prosecution ask me to not stand for what is right. If a man dies doing the wrong thing I say let him die. If a man is tried for doing the right thing, we all know that something somewhere is very, very wrong. Even if you feel that I did the wrong thing I still believe in what I did. Hell, send me to the electric chair. Even if you let me go free and I see someone in distress I will try and help that person. If the bad guy dies during the struggle I would say, so be it. Mr. Harper feels that I am making an excuse for wearing gloves that night. How low can you stoop Mr. Harper, to convict an innocent man? Please tell the court that our army is full of murderers. Why should they defend our country? They are killing human beings, they should fry in hell. They should be cut into pieces and thrown to the dogs. Oh, how does it matter that the enemy wants us dead? We should never kill. Its inhuman, its wrong to save innocent lives, isn’t that what you think Mr. Harper.

Mr. Harper raised the question of morality here. Let me ask him, how moral is it to beat your wife? We stand here today mourning over a person who abused his wife. How noble is that? I still think the world needs to understand the difference between right and wrong as clearly Mr. Harper, an expert practitioner of this profession, feels that saving an innocent, harried and abused person is still immoral if the oppressor is killed. That is all what matters to him. The death of a violent, abusive, drunk husband, who is not a man enough to keep his wife safe. What a pity. What a pity. Save the oppressor. Let the innocent die in pain. She signed up for it. I am afraid to live in this world of violence where a victim is painted as a conspirator. Where a good deed is painted as a convenient job. I don’t want to live in this world anymore. Please do Mr. Harper a favor. Give him what he wants. Let the victims suffer. Let the rapists rape your daughters. You want to stop them? No. Mr. Harper said you cannot kill an oppressor. He is a human too. Why don’t I offer myself for rape? Please rape me. Kill me. I will not complain. Because I cannot complain can I? Because even after you rape me my oppressor should be let free. He was just having fun. Yes, Mr. Harper. Is this the world you want us to live in? Is this the world?

(Silence as Mark returns to his seat)

Judge: Members of the jury will now be excused to confirm the verdict. Till that time, the court is adjourned.

(In the defendant’s chamber)

Mark: (jubilant) How was I?

John: You lied about our childhood. I was the one who got into the fight to save you. How manipulative can you be?

Mark: Hey, Hey, hey, lets not forget who is on trial here. I took the blame for your doings Johnny boy. If we are to lose today I am going to have my ass fried on a chair.

John: You haven’t done me any favor here. You wanted to be the accused.

Mark: Yes. I wanted to be in jail for your crime. I don’t see where I have become less caring or less brotherly.

Flashback (on the night of the murder 11:10 PM)

John nervously dials a number in a phone booth. His hands are trembling. More than anything he was disgusted with himself as he was calling the one person he hated the most.

Mark: Hello? Who is this? Don’t you know the time mister?

John: Marky, it’s me.

Mark: Oh, Johnny my whining brother. What happened? Let me guess. You are broke and you want money. Well, darling you know I don’t give a shi…

John: (interrupting) Marky, I committed a murder.

Mark: hmmm. That is interesting. Whom did you whack? I hope a homeless guy.

John: I didn’t do it on purpose Marky. You know this married woman I was involved with. I bludgeoned her husband. I was not in my senses Marky. Please get me out of this shit.

(A brief silence looms over the phone)

Mark: So you killed a married man? Hmm. Do one thing. Don’t go to the police. Tell me exactly what happened and I shall do the necessary.

John told him the whole account leaving no detail behind. As the conversation was nearing its end Mark had a distinct smile on his face.

Mark: Kiddo. Go to your home and sleep tight. Your brother Marky has everything under his control.

The next day Mark went to the police station assuming the role of a murderer and narrated all the details to the police chief. John never knew that his brother would do something like this. When John got the news of his brother’s arrest, his heart skipped a beat. Was Marky sacrificing himself for me? Why is he doing this?

Chapter 12: the verdict

Judge: Madam Foreperson, Has the jury reached a unanimous verdict?

Madam Foreperson: We have your honor.

Judge: What say you?

Madam Foreperson: In the case of Mr. Marcus William Sweeney vs. the state of Massachusetts, we find the defendant Mr. Marcus William Sweeney, under the charge of murder in the first degree “NOT GUILTY”.

Judge: The court is adjourned. I thank the jury for their services.

Chapter 13: The last conversation

(John is driving the car and Mark is sitting beside him)

Mark: So Johnny. What did you learn today?

John: Try to act over smart and people will love you.

Mark: Shut your beak up. This is what you give me for saving your ass?

John: I didn’t understand one thing Marky. Why did you take the case? In fact why did you implicate yourself?

Mark: Oh Johnny, Johnny boy. You never understand, do you? This is what makes me the best lawyer in town. The true test of a lawyer is when he is asked to defend himself for a crime he has committed. I never had an opportunity like this. The fun, the racing adrenaline, it makes me swoon with amazement. Now I am being hailed as a hero as well. More than that, it was the excitement. To find yourself fighting death against all odds, even after you confess to having committed the crime is breathtaking. My record as a lawyer still stands to be envied. This is my pinnacle. No lawyer could have achieved this. A half breed mongrel like you could never understand this.

John: Well at least, Joanna is happy.

Mark: Ha-ha-ha-ha. Joanna. I still cannot believe that you are in love with a much smarter woman than yourself. You know Johnny that is your problem. You think that whore is a solution to all your failures. Do you really think she loves you? Do you really think she was beaten by her husband? I saw her scars that day. They were 3 years old. Actually, a moron like you could never observe such things.

John: You can call me names Marky, but don’t you dare speak about Joanna like that.

Mark: I will speak about her as I like. That fucking whore nails four or five people at the same time and still she gets a stupid fuck up like you to do her dirty job.

John: (getting angry) I am warning you Marky. Don’t spe…

Mark: Oooh. I am scared now. Who are you gonna call now? Mommy? You know why the whore is going to Venezuela, you numb nut. That is because the United States has no extradition treaty with Venezuela. And you think nailing her every night makes you her soul mate. She is worse than a bitch. But numb nuts like you fall for nymphs like that.

John: (angrily) Mark. Stop talking like that. Or else…

Mark: Or else what. You are going to sell that whore in a market? Well she must have been sold a million times. Probably that is what she does for a living. That fucking whore really got a good deal out of you. How many blowjobs did you get from that slut? Ten? Isn’t that the number of times you swung your bat at poor Mr. Rush.

John: Mark. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.

Mark: You noisy swine. You get enraged for a whore. All she does is fuck with many fools like you. Yeah, she is damn smart. The bitch made you believe that you are in love. That is no surprise since a fucking dunce like you can fall for a fly giving you a lap dance. You know what love is? Why don’t you crawl up to mommy and suck on her boobs. That is love for you, you imbecile. Anyway, at least Joanna would stop supplying milk for a week. That bitch may even open a whore shop for stupid fucking idiots like you.

(John loses himself and draws Mark’s gun from the glove compartment and shoots Mark in the head. The car skids to a stop. Johnny comes out of the car and drags his brother’s dead body on the empty road.)

John: There is your love. (Shoots another bullet at his head). You feel my brotherly love now Marky, you piece of shit (he empties 4 bullets in Mark’s brain but restrains himself from shooting the last bullet).

(After some time John is unable to stand on his feet and he sinks to the ground with remorse and anger. He weeps by his brother’s body.)

John: (with a choked throat) Why Marky, Why. Why couldn’t you just shut up? Why?

Chapter 14: Venezuela

John drives past Joanna’s house and suddenly stops the car. He must see her. They are leaving tonight for Venezuela. He has to take her in his arms. Oh, how he longed to see her. How much this moment had cost him? All he wanted now was a glimpse of the lovely look on her face.

(As he entered the apartment he called out for Joanna. Suddenly Joanna started shrieking and ran from her bedroom naked to embrace John.)

Joanna: Help me Johnny. Help me. This man is trying to rape me.

John: Who?

An old man: Hey. Who the fuck is this?

(John raises the gun and fires a bullet into the man’s head. The old fellow falls in an instant.)

John: (throws away the empty gun) Baby, Who is this fellow? How did he get in here? Come quick pack your bags. We have a flight to catch.

(As he turns to pack his bags, he finds the chief of police uniform on the floor along with the nameplate and his badge.)

John: (startled) Honey, This old man was the chief of police?

(Then another deadly realization dawns upon him.)

John: Joanna, Why didn’t you shout for help before I entered your apartment?

(As he turns around he finds Joanna holding the chief’s gun against his temple.)

Joanna: Your brother was right, you piece of shit. You really are the dumbest, aren’t you? Why did you even come here?

John: But baby, we have to catch the flight. I love you.

Joanna: What didn’t you understand about me? I do this all the time. Every year, a slain husband makes a posthumous payment for my vacation. You were just the means Johnny. You are cute, but you ain’t the brightest.

John: What are you talking about? I love you baby.

Joanna: Keep your love in your pocket, you idiot. I have had many lovers. May their souls rest in peace.

John: Baby, I love you. Why are you doing this? I love you baby.

Joanna: Yeah, and I loved your shoes Johnny. But I have only one ticket.

(And then she pulls the trigger.)

By

R. Lakshminarayan

Disclaimer: The events and characters in the story are fictitious. Some lines used in the story may not be an accurate representation of actual legal arguments. The author does not vouch for the exact sections in the law quoted above. All matters regarding legal issues cannot be referenced to this story as a legal source.

16 comments:

BRU the-me campaign said...

After a long hiatus, Nada is back. A Courtroom drama this time, which is played as much out of the courtroom as inside it. And who are the players? A big mouthed, big shot lawyer, his fucked up brother and a whore. The best thing about this piece is the characterization, and thats the best thing by far. Superb characters. Mark as a foul mouthed, larger than life figure is both entertaining and intimidating. Joanna, well I could just picture Sharon stone in the role. This one's straight out of the Hollywood stables. The weakest of the three main characters, however, is John. His is shown as the story demanded him and rightly so but at times his character gets just too one dimensional to even care about.

The courtroom drama is shown very well though the closing statements seem to rely more on emotions and a call to morality than reason and logic, but that's a minor glitch in an otherwise perfectly built up case.

Another thing that concerned me was the murder of Mr Jason Rush at the hands of John. The scene is played out too quickly for even John to have made up his mind about killing a man. The emotional rush that accompanies a murder at the hands of a weak character like John could have been portrayed in a more detailed and engrossing manner. It seems to have happened a little to quickly, although that may have been the author's intention in the first place.

One thing that was quite impressive was the way Mark's attitude was portrayed. The reader was always left guessing whether Mark is doing all this for plain glory or if there's any trace of love in his heart for John that is making him do that. To show that equilibrium is hard to achieve and it is quite an accomplishment.

The end does evoke sympathy for Mark but once again, the character of John remains possibly the only weak link in the story. A weak spirited man like him will kill a man as soon as he enters his girl friend's house is a hard to digest, specially as he has just killed his brother a few moments back. We see how he reacted the last time he killed someone, the transformation in John's character isnt shown properly and thats why he remains the most hard-to-believe character and the only glitch in what would have been a perfect drama.

The questions raised by the author are relevant and intriguing like the fist fight between legality and eradication of evil. I would have liked to see more of such stuff but then its a courtroom drama not a philosophy ride.

Good stuff, Great stuff to be exact . Could have been perfect but Johnny Boy,you came in the way, again !!

All in all, way to go machan !!!!

Narayanan (Nada!!) said...

you are right. I never noticed that johnny killing an inspector glitch...but i took two assumptions here

1. i assumed that once he got into killing, he will keep killing

2. He kills the chief impulsively as the man rushes to kill johhny boy

3. I also thought i rushed the scene so that i dont miss the pace of the story. that may have been a mistake

4. another assumption which i will try to use in my unabridged story which i shall later write will be based on johny's character. i want to dwelve into his life and his luv for joanna...there i want to show dat he will do anything for luve.
this will also make him the perect candidate for murdering her husband.

and yes ur absolutely right that i shud show character transition...that was a brilliant observation...but this is my short version. will write a 66 page longer version later hopefully with more pace and characters....

Ashwin Jayaraman said...

A well woven chain of events....it's vintage nada playing with characters and emotions again....a few minor glitches though with morality ruling over logic. The police just playing into the hands of mark by not looking into the case deep enough and the jury falling prey to mark's calls for justice to the opressed over the opressor are a bit outlandish to say the least.

The Characters though are mind boggling with Mark serving his own purpose while acting to save his dumb bro.The way Mark gets his act together and with joanna's help weaves an ununravelable trail of events that lead to the night's events is simply awesome....The lingo used suits the characters to the tee, the emotions are perfect and the conclusion fits in beautifully into the chain of bizarre events of the day...
A novel piece to say the least....

Narayanan (Nada!!) said...

Ashwin, as u rightly pointed out there were some glitches. Probably I will iron them out when i finish my unabridged version. But gud observations. Thank you..
This is ur first ever comment i guess. Its an honor for me

Unknown said...

1) though i am reading this blog after a long long time, i think u guys have got a follower and admirer here......
2)nada this was really gripping, well played out n well researched stuff
3) I think major issues have been highlighted by contra n ashwin already so I dont see the point to be critical here
4) @ nada: Will ur unbridged version will be a edited rewrite of the same plot?????? or are u showing us glimpses of ur book in the making?????

Narayanan (Nada!!) said...

Langda, this is the glimpse of my book in the making....thanks for your visit...we need fans like you...

I think i will iron out all the details so that my plot and ideas will be more solid

Vyasa Shastry said...

I had a look at it today man. What is your obsession with stud boy characters? I will spell out your greatest challenge (yet). Write a story which has a female lead doing all this studgiri. Deep down, I feel you yearn to see such characters come out in the open- but let me tell you, they don't necessarily have the fancy lives on this side of the world. Females will not evaluate this quality quite highly. Risk taking may be a turn on for guys, but for a female, it is not necessarily the case. I am speaking personal life wise.

Good read man. I did it in one shot- looks like you put in a lot of effort for all this. Although, I felt that link between Joanna and Mark was obvious- does a man so cocky that speaks about blood flowing in various parts of his body so instantaneously exist? Maybe, they do. It was just a matter of time before the reader puts two and tow together. I also felt the motive for a yearly vacation by this means is very low- it looks like too much effort for something like this. Also, you seem to be obsessed with perfect stud characters- Mark was a know it all and did not put a foot wrong in the entire story- that can be a weakness as people can guess what is going on pretty quickly- you would want to hold the suspense till the end. Why not throw a few red herrings around like Joanna's childhood, her life etc etc and show Mark to be wrong a couple of times in relatively minor scenario where he deliberately plays dumb or so and then you can have the cake and eat it too.

Like I said, drama thrives on perfect characters. It is tough to paint shades of grey. Super effort man.

paps said...

well first of all congrats...
a great piece of work..a true disposition of your calibre ...the long break was well justified and worth waiting..

first a pick of lines that i felt you leave your imprint on
"
Mark had also told him that he could probably defend a rotten pig for inhabiting a junkyard.
They were brothers of destiny.
I haven’t even started talking about your sexually deviant wife yet.
We are not advertising for ladies lingerie out there.
You are a disgrace. Our parents should have drowned you in our backyard pool.
chap 8
Well, Johnny that was swell, wasn’t it? Why are you looking at me like a chimp? Ha-ha.

Mark: Well yes. But I cannot help but admiring your body Mrs. Rush. It just makes my blood flow in several places -- cmmon dude i see a latent despise for women !!

"

These lines truly show your indiviualism..:P
now moving on the story seems well characterized.i am of the belief that jhonny transition doesn't need any more meat.Its the weaker charcters that are more feeble,so the apparently sudden transition is acceptable.

Chapter 8 is real show stealer keeps absorbed through out.The ending is bit rushed upon..kinda too much rushed upon..i think you can work out that part a bit more.


Midway i was expecting the story to take a turn.I was of the belief that Mark had the hots for the female
Johana,and mark conjured of this evil plan to take a "ek tir se do sheekar" kinda thing.
That would have been a quite a bit of turn in the story line..:P
Marks strong character suits a evil make up..


" A game of reason where the wheel of justice turns around to quash all evil, while stringently upholding the truth."-- too storng words sounds fantic...
I believe that justice is a judgement that is both fair and forgiving....that justice is not the only way to punish those who wrong ..it is also the way to save them..

N nIsheet had this been a movie sharon fuckin stone man !!


Kudos Nada!!

MAMTA SAHA said...

A great great piece of work.Its a very well-thought out and intriguing plot.
Especially the "Closing Comments" of the case have a very strong moral question which stands relevant in the contemporary times.

Just one thing: the affair, the murder and the case; all these events have a very high pace and the role of the police could have been a little more elaborate.

Hats Off!!!

Ashmita Randhawa said...

this has got to be the most amazing stuff ever to come from your manor. i mean really. i am simply in awe of the way you write. the dialogues and the characterization is perfect. the way the story unfolds ensures that the reader is held captive and made to keep scrolling down. Im not really sure what more refining this could need. though, im realy sorry i din read b4. but man! this is ver very good stuff!!

also my sister had comments to leave...

"i love this thing!...whoever worte...tell him...its awesome (barring a few places).....way to go!"

lalit said...

awesomely engineered ... it shows out the engineer in you :)

the_aurora said...

Hmm..must say a gud piece to have been written by an amateur (n considering this is the only piece that i hav read of the writer's till now) the story starts really well..the suspense is well build up and lot is given to the reader to hold his interest..but then for a person who has read a lot of such stuff(murders, court room trials n all) nothing new comes at the end. The end somehow seems wrapped up in a hurry..with a lot of unexplained killing. Prob more justice could hav been done to all the characters towards the end. The writer could have delved more into the childhood of Mark and John.. but al in al i did enjoy reading the story..n i wish gud luck for the book :)

Unknown said...

Great work Lakshmi !
Good to see you back in action after so many months.

Your story was gripping and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Its real 'novel' stuff man! Am not comparing, but its as good as any Sidney Sheldon court-room drama.

You actually brought the characters to life with all the lively description/narration. The conversations are pretty good.

I would like to agree with Ashwin's observations about lack of balance between morality and logic and as others pointed out, the hurried end of the story makes it kind of incoherent with the pace of the whole plot.

But these things can be overlooked as you have, I might say, perfectly woven the present and flash-backs into the plot, and one would get completely engrossed in reading the constantly evolving events.

I would say that I am waiting for more such cool stories from you and I sincerely hope that you publish a novel even before we begin to call you Dr. Nada :)

Keep up the good work!

Narayanan (Nada!!) said...

Thank You Anand. some of the questions posed by you are right. This was an assumption of reality i had to take. In fact more things are won by morality and sensitivity dan logic. that is precisely why religion has been so popular since man was born. Even in court cases the jury doesnt worry about logic as much as startling evidence and probably sensitivity. they almost know nothing about the law and based on the assumption that jury duty is mostly for elders they beleive more in the latter kind. The problem here was that for both sides logic was never there. they concieved a case based on assumptions. and thus playing the morality card appealed to the jury.

Regarding pace of the story. The idea was to spiral the story to an end. i wanted to set pace a little ackwardly so that the audience cannot guess the end game. if i had dwelved into the story at the end i was risking the chance of losing the audience in the ifrst run.

However it is a gud comment Anand and i always enjoi your ananlysis. thanx again

ambarish said...

hey, finally i found the time to read your story.
awesome stuff buddy. way to go. I dont wanna desecate your story with all the analysis like the other people, but i do agree with one of the comments about it becoming predictable for ppl who read a lot of these stuff and that some herrings could have been thrown in somewhere.

But, I have a question for you.
Why all this foreign characters and setting in Boston and the american legal system. why not write a story as in India. you living there dont have to be told that there is a dearth of drama and evilness in india.!

Narayanan (Nada!!) said...

well ambu...i coundt picture indians speaking english...it was too surreal..if it was a regional language i cud have done india