Being Silly

The room had not seen a living soul for years. Completely shut off, it had housed a pungent smell and some spider webs as the only forms of life. It was raining heavily outside. The door shivered along with the wall it was a part of. Fresh breeze entered the room for the first time in ages. One more kick and it almost tore off.

Vikram : Get back, you can’t even kick a door down.

Another kick and the door opened up, the bolt flying in to the room.

Vikram : That's how you do it. Fuck, this room smells. Open the windows.

Pradeep : Open windows? Are you crazy?

Vikram : I don’t want to die of suffocation here. We’ll close them in some time.

Pradeep gave him a disgruntled look and opened the windows. They sat down on the floor by the door.

Vikram : What do we do now?

Pradeep : We wait.

They sat in silence for minutes, Vikram inspecting the spider webs in the room, Pradeep staring at the floor with an unfading gaze. It was still raining heavily outside.

Pradeep : How long have you been in the force? Two years? Atleast learn to live with smell, for God's sake.

Vikram : So says the man who can’t even kick a door down. Three years, is it?

Pradeep glared at him.

Vikram(Laughing) : Relax brother. Just kidding. We need to kill time here. Almost another hour before he arrives?

Pradeep : Yeah. That's the news. See what comes out of your mouth or I might kill you too, you know, along with the time.

Vikram : Ah ! Why are you always so wound up? Easy, I was just joking. You can kick doors down, obviously.

Pradeep : You are just silly.

Vikram : Good, that's what I was aiming for.

Pradeep : What…To be stupid on an operation?

Vikram took a deep breath.

Vikram : Look man. I was just trying to be a little friendly. We need to work together, it would help if we are friends.

Pradeep : And the way to be friends with someone is to act stupid?

Vikram : Exactly. Now you are talking sense.

Pradeep : Shut up.

Vikram : Haha. Think about your best friends. Your closest friends. Who are they?

Pradeep : What do you mean who are they?

Vikram : What I'm saying is everyone knows many other people. Some are mere acquaintances. You know, people you won’t be exactly comfortable stuck in an elevator with. Then there are people bordering on being friends. People who know things about you, not enough to make judgments not so less as to be called strangers either.

Pradeep : Like you and me?

Vikram : Well, yes.

Pradeep : But I make judgments about you. You are too stupid to be in the force.

Vikram : Haha. That's a bias. Not a sound judgment. Anyways, Where were we. Yeah. So then, there are good friends. People you share things about your life with. You dont exactly call them in the middle of their work or at 2 in the night, but you wouldn't mind them calling you.

Pradeep : Chicks?

Vikram : Hahaha. No, no. I mean yeah, everyone. Just not in the depraved manner you mean it.

Pradeep smiled.

Vikram : Good, you are lightening up. That's good.

Pradeep : Hmm. Close the windows now.

Vikram got up and closed the windows.

Pradeep : Carry on.

Vikram : Yeah. So these are guys you tell general stuff about your life. Laugh if they crack a joke, shake hands at the end of a dinner and that's it.

Pradeep : That's good isn’t it. That way you don’t make a fool out of yourself. That's how it should be.

Vikram : And that's the point. People are inherently silly. So the people with whom you can talk rubbish or get drunk knowing they would either take you back safely or pass out with you are the people who matter. With them, you can act silly and stupid because you are not trying to defend a reputation.

Pradeep : What is your point? Stop lecturing me and tell me something sensible if you can?

Vikram : Aah ! Leave it. All I was saying is we could be friends, but you are too much of a thick head. When do we call the back up?

Pradeep : When we see the car. And don’t start shooting the moment you spot the car. We can't let him go. This operation needs to be bullet proof.

Vikram : Don’t worry. I know him.

Pradeep : You come from the same town, isn't it. You must have heard stories about him.

The car stopped outside. The rain hitting the tin of the car made a distinctly different noise.

Vikram : No. It’s just that I have been silly with him.

Pradeep : What?

A shot went off. Vikram stepped outside, closed the door, entered the car and drove away.

The room was restored to its original state. Pungent smell, spider webs as the only form of life and Pradeep's dead body. 

A woman..

I met a woman, a woman you know..
Her words are ringing, ringing now..
Deep within even she doesn't know..
Her true self sheathed, she runs the show..

The world, the UN or the school..
Juss plays a dreamer or the fool?
She wants it,she knows it, she shows it..
She acts,she enacts, she cares, she dares ..

Wiser by the years,she takes a call..
She is a flier, hasn't seen a fall..
Everyone has a different take..
What she thinks real might be fake..

Her brutality of intent, her desire of impact
High sounding words, and echoes do last..
Her innocent dreams, a spell it casts,
Down memory lanes, the dejavu lasts..

Numbed and provoked,i show my cards..
Play the dumb and retracts my steps,
Present to past and back again..
She made her point, i stop the game.

I met a woman, a woman you know..
Her words are ringing, ringing now..
Deep within even she doesn't know..
Her true self sheathed, she runs the show..

No Posts = Recession?

This comes as an emergency message to all writers of this blog. Why is no one writing?? Is it because of inflation?? Recession?? Procrastination?? Death of a loved one (like Somani??) You are getting sex these days (This is the least probable one for most of the cops members)?? Whats the reason??

Anyway I should share the news from last month

Contra - Chinki- Nisheeth Pandey- has dedicated himself to CAT GD PI STOP Hope he doesn't tell them about his role in UP politics and how he almost got convicted for murder in the episode of "Gangs of Jhansi"

Paps - The drunk saint- Anurag Patra- He has some calls from famous and semi famous B schools but he doesn't give a shit. He rejected an MDI admit last year STOP Peers feel destiny will send him back to MDI

Khan- The doped one- Ambharrish- TAMU is over STOP he got his degree STOP no contact STOP Possibly joined US secret Service STOP enter Headley

Ash- Blabberer- Ashmita - She has the same old Infy placement STOP maybe that is only good for breathing out freely STOP the newbie is writing articles for The Times of India STOP this makes her the only cops member who is making news - Literally STOP she is still in college so god bless her soul and god save Gokhale

Nada- The loser- Lakshminarayan- Was told by his guide that he was in a huge pile of shit when IISc almost terminated his first foreign trip (not to Bangladesh) citing administrative reasons. The same guide raised hell in the administrative office and the trip is still on STOP Guess his life will remain in the grip of other people and he will probably never realize this

Bala- Where the hell is he?- Balasundar- I really don't know why he is still a member of cops STOP he has flouted all rules STOP hasn't even contacted anyone STOP last heard he was a chef in some Myanmarese restaurant in LA STOP Probably his unique style of writing is saving his arse in COPS STOP return back dude


Comrsdes out
Nada

Freedom..

Freedom

noun

1. the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint

2. exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.

3. Philosophy. the power to exercise choice and make decisions without constraint from within or without; autonomy; self-determination.

These definations make me wonder,is there are still any truly free people left..How many of us are truly free,free to do our thing,free to chase illusions,free to dream our dreams,free to love the ones we like and even more free to hate the others.

Freedom in most countries,is bestowed as the very fabric with which modern societies are binded.Yet modern societies are so intricately strangled,the ideals of freedom have been lost.Every moment of our existence is ruled,determined and generalized by a set of rules.

The rules of a family, of a society,of a country,of humans,of nature.There is no denying the fact that we all consiously or unconsioulsy are subservient to the same.

In my search of truly free people, two groups of people have always had me on the edge.

The mad (as in crazy) and the doped (as in drug addicts).

There is lot common between these two sets than what meets the eye on a superficial glance.

Both have there own worlds,live on there terms and are genuine.Its not as if thier worlds are rulesless.Freedom is not the absence of rules,freedom is to choose the rules.People who choose my set of rules are free to live with me. I dare to venture that these people are free from the ultimate bond: the bond of life or death.Doesn't this make them the truly free people.

What i wonder is how the great artists,musicians,painters,singers,dancers and even sportpersons have hovered on and around these categories. Does the absence of restraint,control and rules sets them from the rest of us.Ohh freedom is such an abuser !!

Coming back to our world,people this is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.(ref: FC) You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.(ref: more FC).

People i am not here to argue.You are free in a democracy,you choose your leaders,you make your celebrities,you dictate your judiciary.You have free markets(ohh no did i say free markets lets save that for some other time),you choose your religions,you are free to change the stations you tune into, the dresses that you wear,the places you go..

People i am here to acquaint your esteemed selves to true freedom.Why do you wanna live in a democracy...coz you are born to it,choose your leaders..what you are some lower class lacking vision,celebrites..arent you one..the dresses,the place,the places all that been offered to you are is just a piece of the complete thing.Every one is being generalized and bought into a same ridiculous delusion.True freedom is what has been dormant in us.We all have been instituionalised.

"Take most people, they're crazy about cars. They worry if they get a little scratch on them, and they're always talking about how many miles they get to a gallon, and if they get a brand-new car already they start thinking about trading it in for one that's even newer. I don't even like old cars. I mean they don't even interest me. I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake." (REF: TCITR)

Do re read the above paragraph and tell em if you still wanna get that new Veyron or ride a horse.We are so control freak that we miss the whole point that our lifes are being controlled themselves.This is the worst abuse of freedom when you falsely think you are free.

Damn !!

"The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act, as the destroyer of liberty. Plainly the sheep and the wolf are not agreed upon a definition of the word liberty..." -- Abraham Lincoln

Freedom will lead to anarchy.So lets have a set of rules to govern us.Lets normalize every one so that order is maintained in society.So some wise people, all through ages have been doing there bit in laying down the limits for us.So we have all these rules that make good things prohibited.The trick is in not knowing that you are a part of the tick.Thats how we been tricked.

Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler. (ref: FC again man i lov this movie..)

P.S:Right now i am tryin to capture a mood so that my next blog piece is up.And since that mood is eluding me i had to put of somehting to keep my blog space alive..

Instead of crapping about wots above this you may try to :

For those to whom SPEED means freedom of the soul:--

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OipXkb6fOFc

A path less Trodden

So, what do I write about after more than a year’s hiatus? Well, it’s going to be another religious blog. But no, this is not going to be just another piece that wants to bash either side for the heck of it. This is what I am writing to myself. To provoke my consciousness, and probably remind me of what I thought of the whole process on this particular day and age, of my swing between atheism and agnosticism. When I say agnosticism, it’s more towards atheism and more about why things are the way they are and about a sense of belonging that is still hard to totally get rid of (I know I don’t make much sense here, but so does religion).

What makes us have such a misplaced trust in religion? Why is it the only area of hope? Most people have placed the argument of a mental satisfaction and sense of calm arising out of religion. But that is because you have trained it in that particular way. Evolution says that even without religion we would think on the same lines and have the same values. (Now, those who say that there is no evolution and that the earth is 6000 years old and all the fossils were planted there can stop reading here. I am not even talking to you. You are beyond hope and I really admire you for your profound dumbness). And no one can answer this better than Dawkins in his god delusion. I have always thought about how we would behave without law and order which he talks about in his book. We are basically ethical beings, who want to protect our gene and this is actually the basis of altruism. Hence, we don’t need religion to be good. Rather, we can use religion to be evil. Like jihad, religious violence, witch-hunting, sati, killing for apostasy and so many other things that make a bottomless list.

You say that god is all-powerful, has the knowledge of the past, the present and the future. But excuse me, what are we doing here with our lives? Richard Dawkins put forward this argument in his book that god can’t be omnipotent and omniscient at the same time. If he is omniscient, he has an all pervading knowledge that makes him realize our future. But at that very moment he ceases to be omnipotent, because he is not potentially changing anything that happens in the future, because he already knows that how it is going to happen due to his omniscience. Even assuming that there is a god and that he is omniscient, what is his purpose in creating life and letting it flourish in all directions, but still knowing everything that is going to happen to them. What is the fun? Unless he is a megalomaniac trying to display his power, this is not a very intelligent thing to do. Or he is so childish that he is playing ‘world’ in his spare time? (Spare time from what?) And to think of it, he does not even have other gods to show off to! Another analogy, under the assumption that there is a god and he is omniscient, is that is he knows all then future and everything that is going to happen, then what is the use of us praying to him? Since, he already has a predetermined course, your prayer is of no consequence in his master-plan. And assuming that your prayer is heeded, why would a god whom you portray as an embodiment of perfection, choose you over someone who is much more deserving, and has worked harder to reach that level. If he does that, I don’t think great of a god who values your devotion to him higher than the hard work required to achieve it. I see a megalomaniacal person on the brink of bigotry. You can ask me, ‘what is the purpose of life?’ It’s mind-blowing and simple. There is no purpose in life. Life was a random chemical accident. Well, not exactly random since statisticians will be quick to point out that randomness is not random. Ok, chemical accident. Probably you were told that you have a greater purpose in life so that you don’t ‘randomly’ kill yourself. I think that life runs for survival and survival runs for life. That’s the perfect couple there.

Throughout our parables and mythology, we have come across gods who are less than perfect. They fight, they kill each other, cheat their enemies, destroy enemy families, are jealous, sometimes cowardly and other such attributes that I would not associate with someone I am supposed to worship. Well, why should I? This also brings us to an interesting aspect. You cannot deny the above mentioned attributes, since they are recorded. You cannot also ask me to neglect such aspects and concentrate on just higher philosophies, because they are based on these basic facts. The whole story of the god’s imperfection, their constant bickering with each other and them trying to propagate their ideology has an uncanny resemblance to contemporary kings. I am greatly persuaded to believe that the great philosophers and writers who wrote down the scriptures merely reflected the persona of the society they were living in. It could be a tribute to the various kings who guided the life and their conquests. Another aspect that points towards this is the morals and the kind of living that pervaded in the society, which is reflected in the books. They just put forward what was best according to them. Though we conveniently neglect theses irregularities and say that times have changed, we still retain the god aspect of it. In reality, we have regressed more into the ritualistic aspect of it.

It s totally not right to base our life on some Stone Age and bronze ages books. Take the Vedas for example. The scholars who have done extensive research on them give an estimated date of 1500 BC for the earliest of them, the Rig Veda. Some other proponents of Out of India Theory date even back by a couple of millennia. And our very own Vedic philologers give an estimate of of 10000 to 15000 BC for them. More the reason to lose faith in these texts, which are nothing but hymns in praise of the celestial Agni, Indra, Vayu, Ashwinis and prescribe methods for animal and other ritualistic sacrifices. I think this is totally unacceptable since what we are doing is precisely praying to nature. Why don’t you guys pray to electricity, magnetism, volcanic eruptions and earthquakes? They are also a part of nature and deserve their rightful status in front of the wind god, fire god, lightning god and rain god. It’s because there was no electricity or magnetism in the minds of the ‘authors’ then. This proves my point right that the texts are contemporary worship manuals. I think most present day pious people will be offended to hear that it contains a whole chapter on soma, which was predominantly known to be psychosomatic. If not that, at least a mind-altering drug. Even conservatively assuming that all they did was produce extreme mental stimulation and high sense of alertness, it can still be associated with banned stimulants like steroids. The Brahmins were said to have used them in their study and temples prepared them on a regular basis. And one theory even talks about the movement of Mesopotamians to India because of the abundance of soma there. So going by today’s standards, I can’t use them. This is just another example to show that these books are contemporary literature and contains what the society believed in.

The Vedas are also said to be sanatana and apurusheya, meaning eternal and not man-made. The explanation is that every time the universe is destroyed and created anew, Brahma hands it over to the next set of people. So in the sense, they don’t have a beginning. So, why doesn’t he make that special appearance once again and solve this problem once and for all. Again, we are said that the Vedic society was virtuous and we are in kali yuga and god does not set foot on this dump anymore, other than to destroy it. Well, going by present day standards, we can’t call them very virtuous. They practiced ritualistic animal sacrifice, used hallucinogens/stimulants, practiced rampant polygamy, polyandry and above all had a flourishing caste system, which people placed in high regard. Religious practitioners (aka rishis) cursed and turned people to stones without any remorse, regret or regulations (supposedly). Kings could take anyone to be their concerts and sex was out in the damn open. The society which considers premarital sex immoral and multiple sexual partners in a lifetime as a great immorality needs to take a peek at the Vedic society that practiced that, before calling them the best of times. The whole point of the above tirade was to question the sanctity of these Bronze Age (Iron gets mentioned only in the later day yajur veda) texts and their dominance of our lives.

Now, what about karma? I don’t have any need to go into the specifics of karma. Why would you want to believe in such a concept? Because you were told to? Imagine your dad keeps beating you all the time, but will not tell you why he is doing that. So, you keep thinking that you are being whacked for something you did wrong, but don’t know what (unless your dad is a weirdo or sadomasochistic bastard). Imagine you become amnesiac sometime in your life. Imagine that you are incarcerated for the rest of your life for some crime you did before you lost your mind. That would be some good ‘purpose of life’, wouldn’t it? Or even imagine a 75 year old man incarcerated for a rape he committed when he was 18. There is no point. That’s the same with karma. It’s stupid to be punished for what you did in your previous birth, even if something like that exists. I rest my case.

P.S. I haven’t capitalized god deliberately. And I have a lot more to write, but not in this one.

Pawns and Kings

"I don't trust him. We're friends." - Bertolt Brecht

CHAPTER 1: THE WAITING

The Room

Wednesday

The blades of the old fan slowly went rounds. Lefty scratched his stubble every now and then as Miman, looking detached from his surroundings, searched for cigarettes.

Lefty: How long it’s been?

Miman Angrez: Thirty minutes. Would you shut up already?

Lefty: Have you ever noticed something? Every time we order pizzas, they tell you its gonna take forty minutes. But every time it takes forty five, that’s five more minutes. Exactly 5 more minutes, every time.

Miman Angrez: How many times have we ordered pizza before and what’s your point?

Lefty: My point is that when it always takes forty five minutes why don’t the motherfuckers tell us that its gonna take that long. Or may be if they tell us that its gonna take forty five minutes, that mean its gonna take five more, fifty minutes. Now that’s a vicious circle, ain’t it.

Miman Angrez: You know I have never been a fan of your logic. Just chill. Pass me the cigarettes.

Lefty(threw the cigarette pack at Miman): Doesn’t smoking make you feel hungry.

Miman Angrez: On the contrary, it kills my hunger.

Lefty: That’s weird man. I can’t take a smoke now. I mean I’ll die of hunger before that fuck brings me my pizza.

Miman Angrez: Its called dying of starvation.

Lefty(gazes at Miman): Now you are fucking with me.

Miman Angrez: You are talking way too much. Better words make for better conversation, don’t you think.

Lefty: That’s why they call you Angrez man. Yeah but I have never been a fan of your literary skills.

Miman(with a smirk) : Yeah well...

Lefty glanced at Miman in a menacing way. The next time he spoke, he spoke sternly.

Lefty: What?

Miman Angrez: Nothing. Get that remote man. Let’s watch some TV.

Lefty picked up the remote and switched the TV on. The sun was high in the sky and the only sound that seemed to inhabit the place is the guitar on the TV. They stared at the television for some time, no other voices, just the guitar playing. Lefty kept on fidgeting on the sofa and amidst all that guitar invaded silence, the creak of the fan became apparent.

Lefty: Man do they always show this Johnny Cash shit.

Miman Angrez: I like him. He plays the guitar well.

Lefty: Dunno. I never had much ears for guitars.

Miman(Passed Lefty the cigarette): Me neither. You gotta listen to fuckers like Hendrix, that Santana guy and this sunny boy right here. I am telling you, they do get to you man.

Lefty(took a puff): You really like 'em.

Miman Angrez: Ya, I aint shitting you. You can consider me a convert. Did you just smoke? You said you wont.

Lefty: I lied.

Miman Angrez: When will you start keeping your word.

Lefty: I am trying hard. And convert? What convert?

Miman Angrez: To the religion of music.

Lefty: Hmm...answer this.

Miman Angrez: What?

Lefty: Guitar or pizzas?

Miman Angrez: Well that depends.

Lefty: On what?

Miman Angrez: How many pizzas are we talking 'bout here?

A(smiling): Oh, a lot. More than the times I have fucked that afro girl.

Miman Angrez: Well now that ain’t a verified figure, is it?

Lefty: Never thought you would doubt me man. Still, guitar or pizzas?

Miman Angrez: Can't answer that now. I gotta learn to play the guitar first.

Lefty: So are you ?

Miman Angrez: Yeah. I am gonna learn it.

Lefty: Man you are turning into a bum. And anyways, why do you need to learn to play the guitar to answer the question.

Miman Angrez: How can I compare them when I haven’t experienced what playing the guitar feels like.

Lefty: Just to remind you, playing the guitar and eating pizzas are two quite different kinds of experiences. How are you ever gonna compare them.

Miman Angrez: Didn’t you just contradict yourself? But that’s a good argument. Brings me to my next point.

Lefty: Which is ?

Miman Angrez: Satisfaction.

Lefty(smoke leaving his mouth): Explain.

Miman Angrez: You can’t compare things that fall in two different domains. However, you can compare experiences. Now each experience is related with a satisfaction level, that is how satisfied you feel after it. So basically I can relate to something by considering how satisfied I felt doing it. That can help me compare pizzas and guitars.

Lefty: Hmm..may be. But by that reasoning, Johnny wasn’t at fault, was he?

Miman Angrez: How is that?

Lefty: Well he did that shit for the first time. He didn’t know what was gonna happen because he had never 'experienced' it. Ain't it.

Miman Angrez: Thats stretching it a little too far. You can justify anything with that logic. Told you thats why I don’t like your logic.

Lefty: So?

Miman Angrez: So nothing. We cant fuck this up now. V would bloody shoot our asses, you know that.

Lefty: Yeah well, just that its a lot harder to focus on something when you know its possibly unreasonable.

Miman Angrez: There's nothing unreasonable in this.

Lefty: Well, you don’t know.

Miman Angrez: Didn’t know you were such a reasonable man.

The bell rang. Both of them got up. Miman went to open the door.

Lefty: How long did it take?

Miman(looking at the watch): Forty five minutes.

Lefty(smiling lazily): Told you.

Miman opened the door.

Delivery boy: Your pizzas sir. The bill is four fifty.

Miman Angrez: Yeah. Come in.

Delivery Boy entered the room and Miman closed the door behind him.

Lefty took out his wallet as he spoke.

Lefty: So, how long have you been delivering pizzas.

Delivery Boy: Nearly an year now sir.

Miman Angrez: Well that means you are a pro now. Ain't it.

Delivery Boy(with a smile): I guess so.

Miman took out a gun from his jacket and pressed it against Delivery Boy's crotch.

Miman Angrez: Then why did you have to do something that stupid? Why Johnny? A smart delivery guy like you.(raises his voice) Or you ain’t that smart, you are just plain stupid, that's why you got in the middle of that shit.

Johnny: Wh....what? O Shit..shit.

Lefty: Remember the incident at 45th street this weekend? You were a hero, were you not?

Lefty took out a gun and shot Johnny in the leg. He fell to the ground, blood spurting out of his knee. Johnny reached into his pocket as if searching for something.

Miman(Shouting): Take the Goddamn hand out of your pocket. Were you going to call other delivery boys as we stood here watching you do that?

Lefty: Time's up Johnny boy. Guess you had an adventure too much.

Johnny: No..no...

Lefty shot him in the head. In an instant, Johnny's body lay there in a pool of blood, his red T shirt now indistinguishable from its surroundings. Miman came and whispered to Lefty.

Miman Angrez: Fancy a pizza?

Lefty looked around.

Lefty: Here?

Miman Angrez: Yeah. Johnny won’t disturb us.

Lefty looked at Johnny's body then looked at Miman. He swallowed and nodded before he spoke next.

Lefty: Yeah. What the heck.

Miman Angrez: I think we should call V and tell him the fucking job's done.

Lefty: No, we don't call him, not yet. Lets eat.

CHAPTER 2: THE INCIDENT AT 45TH STREET

45th Street

4 days back

Voice: Hello. Hello. Can you hear me?

Johnny: Yes. Sir?

Voice: Ya, what?

Johnny: Am a little nervous.

Voice: Don’t worry. You are working with the state police here, not a bunch of retarded vigilantes. The cops would be there at the scene in seconds. You remember the car, don’t you?

Johnny: Yes sir.

Voice: Gimme the description again.

Johnny: Black Tata Safari. MH 02 DY 5745.

Voice: Good. Just focus. It will be over in a minute. You are not gonna get hurt, I promise you. No one knows your identity except us.

The Sergeant's reassurance didn't go down too well with Johnny but he knew there was no turning back now. He had to trust the police and in their ability to protect him. Five more minutes before the car came by. He had memorized all he had to do. All that he had to speak, but the trembling won't stop. He told himself to calm down. All he had to do was get the driver out of the car, somehow. It would all be over soon and he can go back to delivering pizzas, back to his normal life, he told himself.

Some time went by. He couldn't stop perspiring. He looked around and spotted it. He got on the bike and turned on the engine. Now all he had to do was wait for the car to get near and then bang into it. Why they didn't get a cop to do this was still beyond him. Was it that they didn't want one of them to be the collateral damage? Should he be doing this at all? All this just for some money !!

Voice: Go Johnny go.

The car approached and he drove towards it. Traipsing through the crowded road, he banged into it. The car stopped, throwing him off from the bike and the impact scraped his left knee. It was time for action, he had to forget the pain and get down to business. The voice in his ears urged him to get going.

Johnny: You son of a bitch, are you driving with your eyes closed.

The driver didn’t look the least bit perturbed. He kept on smoking with steely nonchalance.

Driver: Get the fuck out of my way.

Johnny: Motherfucker, you broke my bike. Don't you see where you are going. You are paying for this.

Driver(putting out the cigarette): How much do you want asshole. Tell me.

The driver took a bundle of cash out of a pocket in his jacket. He took out some notes and handed them to Johnny. They were all 500 bills. Johnny hadn't seen that kind of money in his life. He had to focus. He had to get him out of the car. He slapped the notes away.

Johnny: Stop fooling around. You are getting my bike taken care of. You got that punk.

Driver: Fuck off.

He started the engine. Johnny started to panic. Whatever he said, the driver wasn't getting out of the car. His mind stopped working and he did the only thing he could figure out at the moment. He punched the driver in the face knowing very well that he would be carrying a gun for sure and that he might shoot him as well. These were hardened criminals for God's sake. The driver's nose started bleeding, he loked at Johnny, his eyes full of rage as he stepped out of the car. Johnny could see the gun tucked by his jeans, covered by the jacket. His heart was pounding in his chest.

Driver: O Boy, you are gonna pay.

Where were the cops. Where were the fucking cops!!! The driver punched him in the stomach, Johnny felt his breathing stop. His eyes searched for the cops. They were not to be seen. Johnny fell to the ground and the driver forced his bulky frame on him. As he was about to be punched for a second time, a gun came and rested on the driver's head. It was the Sergeant.

Sergeant: Step away from him, move towards the car and raise your hands. NOW!!!

The driver stepped away, still looking with mad eyes at Johnny. The rest of the backup appeared and they started searching the car. The driver was arrested and kilograms of cocaine found in the trunk of the car. The operation had been successful. Sergeant came and patted Johnny's back as he still sat gasping for breath. The Sergeant and an officer cleared the mess and got back in the police van as the driver was handcuffed and thrown at the back of another police car to be taken to the lockup.

Officer: Sergeant?

Sergeant(lighting a cigarette): Yeah?

Officer: I am still wondering why we had to use that kid for the job. Anyone of us cold have done this job.

Sergeant let out a puff, looked around, saw the driver being thrown into the van. Then he turned to the officer.

Sergeant: Now that we have used an ordinary man in our operation, the goons, whoever they are, will come to know of this. And they will come after him.

Officer: Yeah. That’s my point. We endangered this kid's life for God's sake.

Seagent: Didn't I fill you in or are you just so mind numbingly dumb.

The officer was quiet deciding whether to reply or not.

Sergeant: Officer: They should come after him. That’s the plan.

CHAPTER 3: THE GAMEPLAN

Police Headquarters
Same Day

They reached the police headquarters. The driver was locked up, his belongings checked. The Sergeant went to his cabin and sat down with a thump. The tumultuous morning had had its impact on him, so he got himself a coffee. He reclined back on his chair and lifted the photograph from his table. There he was, 9 years old with his father, mother and brother, all laughing with joy. He remembered how him and his brother used to play in the backyard and his mother used to get them snacks. That picture had always remained with him. They ate all of it with dirty hands with a smile on their face as their mother used to give up telling them to go get washed up first. That innocence was long gone and here he was, a caricature of his former self, he thought. The officer entered with a cell phone.:

Officer: So are you going to tell me the reason behind using Johnny, or is it just that you think that all of us here are pussies who wouldn't stand up to a challenge.

The Sergeant looked at him and smiled.

Sergeant: Sit. As I told you, they have to come after Johnny.

Officer: You told me that already,

Sergeant(leaned forward): What we know is that they would find Johnny, what they do not know is what Johnny looks like.

The Sergeant went quiet.

Officer: So?

Sergeant: So an undercover officer will work in Johnny's place. They will come after him and when they think they have got to Johnny, we would have got to them.

Officer: How..how will that officer contact us?

Sergeant: Now you have really got me doubting your intellect officer. Its the 21st century for God's sake. Our guy will always carry a microtransmitter whose receiving end would be with me. If he can’t call me, he can just press the button and I can get his exact location. Does that work for you?

Officer(clearing his throat): Yes Sir. It does, it does.

Sergeant: Go check on the driver. Get as much out of him as you can.

The officer left the room. He came back in barely ten minutes.

Sergeant: So, you got anything for me?

Officer: Bad news.

Sergeant: What?

Officer: Seems like he was wearing a cyanide capsule around his neck. He ate it.

Seagent: What!! Are you kidding me? Didn’t you lock his hands??

Officer: Sir..

Sergeant(shouting): Oh Shut up!!! He was the only lead we had into this thing. What are we going to do, trace the car's registration number? What are we, fucking private detectives !!!!

Sergeant always made him nervous. Officer thought this would be a good time to do it, so he took out the cell phone out of his pocket.

Officer: Sergeant. This guy made a call to some guy, Miman, 10 minutes before we nabbed him..

The Sergeant took the phone from him and checked the call register. He stared at it, scrolling up and down for some time before he spoke.

Sergeant: Hmm..this is not good. We need to find this guy Miman. But ..

Officer: But?

Sergeant: These are ruthless criminals we are dealing with. I am afraid that before we get to Miman, they might get to him. If one of their gang can commit suicide to protect their identity, they would do anything to do the same.

Officer: And he is our only lead into this case as of now.

Sergeant: Who ever runs this will know that this guy is dead. I am praying they don’t know about the call made to Miman. Otherwise for all I know, they will kill him as well. They will do anything to save their own ass, these bastards.

Officer: They will kill one of their own? They would do that to someone of their own kind?

Sergeant: These people don’t work on emotion, officer. We need to find him before that happens othereise for all I know, we are back to square one. And I don't blame them, this is a huge racket. Anybody running this has to be ruthless enough to kill with impunity, even if its one of their own. For all I know, they may even employ one of Miman's closest allies to kill him.

Officer: Will that guy do it?

Sergeant looked out of the window. He seemed to be in deep thought and talked more to himself than to the officer.

Sergeant: He will have to. Search the car. I want all the leads we can find.

The officer left. Sergeant came back to his seat, made sure no one was around, picked up his cellphone and made a call.

Sergeant: Hello Miman. Listen up.

CHAPTER 4: THE PROPOSITION

V's Den

Wednesday

V: We can always play with the boundaries of good and bad, can't we? Man is a selfish thing Lefty. All that you have so far done in your life has been selfish, ain't it. Otherwise why would you do that. Its the same this time round. All I am asking you to do is serve yourself.

Lefty: This is back-stabbing.

V: You seem to lack perspective Lefty. You don't see the larger picture. He is our only weak link. If the damn cops trace him down, we all go down.

Lefty: Why me? I have been working seven years with him.

V: That's exactly why you. He would never suspect you to do it.

Lefty: I don't care. Ask someone else to do it. I won't.

V: Hear me out. Don't you want to know what's in it for you.

Lefty:(with a mock smile): Oh, there's something for me too. You know how to please everyone, don't you. Stop fucking with me V. Stop....

V(interrupting): You can go to Bangkok. Take care of our shit there.

They stared at each other. Lefty had stopped talking. For as long as he can remember, he had been pestering V to send him there. He knew V had played his hand and played it well.

V: So, what do you say?

Lefty: You are a jerk.

V(laughing): No. I am a rational man. And if you think rationally, you would agree to my point. I don't want this either but Miman needs to go. Do it for everybody's sake.

Lefty still kept quiet. His thoughts had been focused on Miman but now Bangkok started to gain space.

V: I know you must be a bit uncertain. Convince yourself. I would make sure you leave the country within minutes of this shit. Just take Miman out along with Johnny. And when you do it, just send me a message that says 'Yes' and you will be on your way to Bangkok before you can realize what happened. Do all the guilt fighting on the plane coz when you land in Bangkok, you wont be able to feel the guilt even if you want to.

Lefty(with a smirk): Is that a promise?

V: You know damn well it is.

Lefty felt a rush of blood. He knew V meant every word he said. On the other hand, he wondered if V would dispense with him too if the need arises. He decided to convince himself and this thought made him fell better as he knew he was half way through the job for accepting it. He nodded, turned and started to leave.

V: And you very well know, I don’t take no for an answer.

Lefty: I know that.

CHAPTER 5: THE HOUR OF RECKONING

The Room

Wednesday

They ate in silence as Cash was replaced by Les Paul on TV. Johnny's body lay there soaked in blood and looked like a work of art from a twisted painter in the barren room.

Miman Angrez: Man I am taking a liking to this cheese burst shit. You are right about his man.

Lefty was hardly speaking now, waiting for his soul to die.

Miman Angrez: Man, from now on, I am sticking to whatever you suggest we eat.

Lefty: You like it?

Miman Angrez: Hell Yeah, I like it.

Lefty: Good. Finally we have something we both like.

Miman Angrez: C’mon, what you talking bout. We already have things we both like.

Lefty: Like what?

Miman pointed to Johnny's dead body.

Miman Angrez(with a smile): Killing punks.

Lefty looked at Johnny's body, stared at the bullet wounds and the mess that he lay in. He pushed the pizza away.

Miman looked at him, amazed.

Miman Angrez: What?

Lefty: What? This aint funny alright.

Miman Angrez: We have pizzas and we didn’t even have to pay the motherfucker. Howz that not good for you?

Lefty: This shit ain’t funny. How can you find humor in this sort of thing. Do you think we are nice people?

Miman Angrez: Chill man chill. Why are you getting so worked up? We have been doing this shit for years. What the fuck is the matter with you today? If I got upset about every man I killed, I would be fucking dead by now.

Lefty stared at him, still breathing heavily. He told himself that he had a job to be completed. He had to keep his emotions in control, not give anything away but fighting himself was harder than he had thought it would be. He wished for some meteorite to hit them and end the whole mess right away. But he knew that eventually he only had one choice. He sat back and picked up the pizza slice.

Miman Angrez(nibbling on a slice): But you do have a valid point. This shit ain’t supposed to be funny. I give you that. But then we have assumed roles which do not allow us to get emotional about all this. I mean your point makes sense from a, say, a salaried guy's point of view. He is supposed to feel bad about killing people, because that's not his fucking job. We, on the other hand, make a living out of this. Guess at some level, everyone has to be indifferent about the consequences of his work. That’s Darwin's rule ain’t it.

Lefty wiped sweat from his forehead.

Lefty: How the fuck did you get into this profession? You should have been some bloody english teacher. Who the fuck is Darwin and what’s his rule?

Miman Angrez: Well he was some big shot philosopher for all I know. What he said was that only the fittest survive. Now fitness in this context might mean indifference. I mean look at the beasts. If the lion starts feeling bad about killing other animals, its gonna die, you know of what.

Lefty: Of starvation.

Miman Angrez: Great man. You are catching up quick.

Lefty kept staring at the table while Miman rambled on.

Lefty: Yeah. yeah you are right. Guess we are all beasts at the end of the day.

Miman Angrez: Yeah, its good to see you agree. Finally.

They both laughed. Miman's laugh hearty, Lefty's forced out. Lefty looked at the gun on the table. It still had 5 bullets. He decided he would use only one. Aim at the head and finish it quick. That way it wont pain, not Miman not himself. He convinced himself that it was natural he would feel a pang of guilt. Him and Miman had been working together for 7 years. He told himself that it was necessary, to survive. To be the fittest.

Miman Angrez: Well. Not exactly.

Lefty: What?

Miman Angrez: We ain’t exactly beasts. I mean that’s what differentiates humans from animals. Animals are like, you know, one man armies. They live for themselves, well mostly. People live with each other.

Lefty felt his hands. They were trembling. He took them out of the view of Miman, under the table. He had to do it.

Miman Angrez: Well, people thrive on the notion of familiarity. We make our own little worlds, within which we kind of care for people, but outside it, others are aliens. Ain’t it? I guess that’s why people are called animals. We may behave in a civilized way as long as surroundings are familiar, but we become beasts when we loose the sense of familiarity. Like you and me here is a familiar thing, this Johnny boy, on the other hand was an alien. And a pretty fucked up alien at that. You get what I am saying? We tread a fine line between being human and beasts.

He is not familiar, he is talking bullshit, Lefty kept telling himself. Kill him and go. Kill him and make a move. Do what you have been told to do. You don’t want your own ass on fire. His thoughts almost choked him. Lefty looked at the gun.

Miman Angrez: Now this is called emotion. You see...

Lefty: Don’t give me that bullshit.

Miman Angrez: What? Ain’t you getting what I am saying?

Lefty got fidgety. Hold it, hold it, don’t give in now, he told himself. He felt his eyes welling up and a feeling of fear followed. He told himself that if he didn’t do it, V was not going to let Miman live anyway. Meanwhile, a police car stopped in front of the building, Sergeant got out of it.

Lefty: Shut up man.

Miman Angrez: No, see.

He knew he was losing his will. He had to kill. He got up in a rage, screaming at the top of his voice.

Lefty: SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP.

They stared at each other. Lefty was panting heavily, still trembling. Miman looked bewildered. They kept gazing into each other's eyes. Lefty searched for an answer to the question he was posed with, whether to be the beast and do as told or be a human and face the consequences but all he found in Miman's eyes was bewilderment. He decided to stop thinking and just do what he had to. Miman was still talking.

B(looking into Lefty's eyes): For example, today, Johnny Was a human, but here we are, two beasts.

Lefty: Yeah well, you are right about that. You are damn right.

Finally, Lefty had made up his mind. He got up and moved around. He took out his cellphone and started typing. Miman kept talking.

Miman Angrez: And you know how beasts are. They are selfish. All they worry about is their own ass. The only question remaining is, that when you know what you have to do and I know what I have to, who is the bigger beast?

Lefty didn't understand what Miman was saying. He looked at him, confused. In a flash, Miman picked up the gun and aimed at Lefty.

Miman Angrez: Guess I am the bigger beast today.

All that Lefty could do was stare at Miman.

Lefty: You knew about it? You didn’t say anything to me.

Miman Angrez: I lied..too.

Lefty: Miman..

The bullet was shot and Lefty was thrown back, blood instantly oozing out of his chest. And he was dead. Miman stood there with the gun in his hands. He wanted to be sure and to do that he fired two more bullets in Lefty's chest, screaming. His lifeless body jerked with the impact. Miman kept looking at his body. The door was thrown open and the Sergeant entered.

Sergeant: FREEZE.

Miman turned around. They stood pointing the guns at each other. Nobody moved for some time, nobody spoke, both panted as sweat dripped down their cheeks and looked more like tears. Then they took their guns down.

Sergeant: You allright?

Miman Angrez: Yeah.

Sergeant entered the room and looked at the two dead bodies lying around. He turned to Miman, still out of breath.

Sergeant: Look at all this mess.

Miman Angrez: Did you make all the arrangements. I can leave India right now, isn't it?

Sergeant looked up at him.

Sergeant: Yeah. Yeah.

Miman Angrez: Ill make a move then.

Sergeant: Yeah I guess its time for you to go.

Miman turned back and started to leave. Three policemen crashed into the place and pointed their guns at him. He realized what had been done.

Miman Angrez: You bastard. You double crossed me.

Sergeant: Dont call me a bastard. That makes you one too. (To the policemen) Arrest him.

Miman was taken away and Sergeant started to inspect the place. Another officer entered the place.

Sergeant: Seal this room. We need to get every detail out of it.

Officer: Yes Sergeant. We lost our undercover, Sir.

Sergeant(looked at his dead body): No plan is perfect, officer. Collateral damage is a given, sometimes its them, sometimes its us.

Officer: He trusted us to be there for him. We failed him.

Sergeant: We did the best we could. No point blaming anyone. Take his body, he shall be buried with all the honor.

Officer: We should keep the media off this for some time.

Seagent: Yeah that would be a good idea. All we have right now is a dead cop, a dead gangster and his cell phone on which it seems, he was typing a message. Some mess this.

Officer: What does the message say?

The Sergeant shrugged unable to make anything of it.

Seagernt: It says 'No'.